How to rise above the chaos and conflict of parental alienation

Dealing with a high-conflict personality especially if they’re engaging in alienating behaviours that are damaging or have severed the relationship with your child. It’s so important to self-care. It may seem selfish, and you may even feel guilty about being happy when your child is alienated, but you can’t help anyone if you don’t help yourself first.

Set boundaries. Be firm, fair, and don’t engage in verbal attacks or respond to them. This helps de-escalate the conflict. Talking about ‘I’ rather than ‘you’ depersonalises it. ‘I’m not happy about what you’re saying’ is better than what you might think or say, ‘You’re a liar’.

Develop detachment. That’s not to stop loving, or caring, or being involved. It is a way of ‘rising above’ and seeing the bigger picture. The long-term vision. Staying calm and focused.

Self-care: Many things can help you towards staying calm and resilient – meditation, breathing exercises, walking, swimming, listening to a relaxing podcast or music. Exercise, eat healthily. Don’t overindulge – but have fun!

Do things you love and be with people you love and who love you.

Listen empathetically … to your child – but don’t react in anger or blame. Try to be empathetic and see it from their point of view (even though it’s been influenced). Remember, they’re trying to survive this trauma. They will appreciate you hearing them, even if it’s just ‘unloading’.

Get support where you can. Reach out if you’re interested to know how I can help you with my 9-step program or 1:1 coaching. And follow me for daily insights into parental alienation, narcissistic abuse, and self-care.